Author Topic: Cinquain Anyone?  (Read 1738 times)

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Offline Sartor

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Cinquain Anyone?
« on: January 11, 2007, 04:03 PM »
Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem consisting of twenty-two syllables distributed
as 2, 4, 6, 8, 2, in five lines.  It was developed by the Imagist poet, Adelaide Crapsey.

EXAMPLE

Cinquain Sunset
.
Sunset,
Gold melted red,
Sinking into the sea,
Night covers the world with darkness,
Day ends.
.
Sartor
Our greatest illusion is to think that others see us as we believe ourselves to be.

Offline jack lindus

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2007, 08:01 PM »
good eveing sartor

i adore this  work
and i find the form very intresting
i read it  this afternnon  and came back to read and comment
i have copied and pasted both your work and the form  to study
this  has grab something in me  for the first time in a great number of years
i thank you for the posting and the intro to this style

warm regards jack




shoot

Offline Lady SunShine

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2007, 08:25 PM »
Tears

Droplets
Falling slowly
Little sparkle pearls
Mixed with twirling emotions
Joy, pain
Never Let Yesterday's Pain
Ruin Tomorrow's Dreams

Offline Soft Words

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2007, 09:26 PM »
I love writing cinquains. They're such elegant, simple forms.

Five cinquains together is called a crown cinquain. Here is one I wrote long ago:

For You

For you
I live today
Smiling, laughing, singing,
Forgiving every slight and wound
With ease.

Looking
For beauty – in
Everything around in sight
I see ugliness nowhere, yes!
Its true!

Colors
Are brighter now
My eyes infatuated
By the magic and power of
Your love.

Your love
Taught me to smile
In the face of crises
That would have broken me before
You came.

A boon
Of wisdom deep
You light up my whole life
And I fill it up with laughter
For you.
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Offline Balladeer

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2007, 02:57 AM »
Well this takes me back, here's an old one.

B

Ho Hum

Trait dawns,
bursting anew
From its morning slumber.
Stargazer Lily awakens,
Clique yawns...

Offline Lady SunShine

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2007, 05:23 PM »
had to redo that first one

Tears

Droplets
sliding slowly
breathing with joy or pain
mixed sparkling twirling emotions
wet pearls


you know how it is revise revise revise
I wonder who said that
cluck cluck
Never Let Yesterday's Pain
Ruin Tomorrow's Dreams

Offline Sartor

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2007, 05:24 PM »
Pale dawn,
changing to rose,
that blooms into blood-red.
Giving birth to another day.
Morning.
Our greatest illusion is to think that others see us as we believe ourselves to be.

Offline Dutch

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2007, 05:58 AM »
Hi Sartor,

What a wonderful new thing to try out(well for me it's new, Iam still learning so much new things...*smiles*)



Redwood:
scraping the skies,
surviving history.
two thousand years of Life, falls to
Man's greed.




A thing of beauty, is a joy forever ~John Keats~

witt

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2007, 12:37 PM »
Well, I just learned something. Maybe I knew it before and just forgot, but I was under the impression that a cinquain was based on the amount of words.
1
2
3
4
1

Now, thanks to Sartor, it is based on syllables. Thanks for the education.

Hey, you CAN teach an old hen new tricks! cluck cluck

Offline Sartor

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2007, 05:17 PM »
Dutch.......change the word in your fourth line from "falling" to "falls" and the line then will be in sync with proper form.  Although you named your verse Sequoia, you wrote about a redwood.  (two separate species)  If this was your first Cinquain........you did a great job.  They don't have to have a title unless you are posting it as a topic.  Just keep in mind the syllable count and do not put spaces between the lines.  Also you should type it as "two thousand" as opposed to "2000".  These are just some thoughts for you as this is a new form you are learning.  (nuff said.......no more critique)

Witt....  So you CAN learn new tricks !  Great........now rollover and play dead then we will learn the handshake.  (hugs and thanks for the remarks)
Our greatest illusion is to think that others see us as we believe ourselves to be.

Offline Dutch

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2007, 10:27 PM »
Hi Sartor,

Thanks for your nice words, this was my very first Cinquain ever yes! *smiles* I so much appreciate your thoughts and tips to change it and make it better and in sync with proper form.
After all Iam inhere to learn besides having a good time and reading other people's poems of course.
A thing of beauty, is a joy forever ~John Keats~

Offline Balladeer

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2007, 11:57 PM »
Hey Sartor,

No Biggie, but being a Californian and familiar with
the redwoods, I do know that Sequoia is a species
of redwood, though I believe there are Sequoia
Pine and Spruce as well.

B,

Offline Sartor

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #12 on: January 15, 2007, 06:58 PM »
Dutch........no probs..........have fun with your verses.

Balladeer.........Hummm mmmmm......sub-species perhaps, although I don't think the sequoia has red wood.......does it?  Anyway since one grows up in the mountains and the other grows in the lowland costal areas.........I figured they were separate species.  How about Ponderosa Pine?.......bet that is a sub species of the other two also.  Thanks the the note.
Our greatest illusion is to think that others see us as we believe ourselves to be.

Offline Balladeer

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Cinquain Anyone?
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2007, 08:02 PM »
Hey Sartor,

Well I don't think there is a species of Ponderosa redwood
the two I'm familiar with are the Coastal and Sequoia. There
may be more though.

B,