Author Topic: Questions on the Way Over  (Read 437 times)

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Offline mojojames

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Questions on the Way Over
« on: July 15, 2018, 10:36 PM »
An otherworldly white rose appears full bloom
on the mantle to soothe our harsh tomorrows.
The spirit we abandoned covers the room
with petals cascading to ease your sorrows.
 
The dread apparitions that claim you nightly,
will they too, come with us on our final run, 
then in drear spite, haunt us anew frightfully,
and dwell in this dream’s remainder like a sun?

Will the fear of what we’ve come to understand,
proud in lop-top-sided triumph, embrace us?   
A thousand turbulent miles from land lies more land,
here, the dolphins hypnotize with arcing trust.
 
The ocean of our past informs us, and gleams;
beneath tormented skies, prophets’ poems speak
while silent seamsters sew spirit to our dreams.
We can’t forget what we’ve lost for what we seek.

Can we summon the extent of what we know,
how we know it, and make when conform to now?
There is nothing more sound than a falcon’s show,
only a dove’s return with what love might allow.


Offline daisyxo

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2018, 08:16 AM »
I love this poem .... while silent seamsters sew spirit to our dreams (my favorite line)
~ Marsha ~
 

"Abilities wither under faultfinding, blossom with encouragement." -- Donald A. Laird

Offline mojojames

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2018, 08:20 AM »
Thanks Marsha - I've re-worked this poem many times - usually that results in losing the original drift or mood,
I don't think I lost it this time round - RC

Offline mojojames

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2018, 05:30 PM »
(Revision)
Retitled - "The Voyage in Question"

To soothe our harsh tomorrows
a white rose in full bloom
appears, carried by the lithe spirit
we abandoned, alive with sorrow.

This will be our final run,
with or without the apparitions
that nightly claim their place
in your sleep, as if they’ve won.

What we once confused with fear
will embrace us in proud triumph,
arcing like dolphins beyond all trust;
miles from land, other land appears.

Can we summon everything we know
to shed light on what the future holds?
A dove returns with all that love allows,
caution to the wind holds the final blow.

We won’t forget loss for what we seek,
the past informs us under blustery skies;
silent seamsters sew spirit to our dreams,
in poems cool morning prophets speak.

Offline daisyxo

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2018, 07:12 AM »
RC ... I don't think you need to revise this one anymore.  Love the rewrite!  It flows better, takes you along with it. :poet
~ Marsha ~
 

"Abilities wither under faultfinding, blossom with encouragement." -- Donald A. Laird

Offline mojojames

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2018, 08:06 AM »
Marsha - I agree - quite enough fiddling about - Thanks - RC

Offline Halo

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2018, 09:25 PM »


mojojames,

Quote
We can’t forget what we’ve lost for what we seek.

Beautiful line with depth and truth!


I like your rewrite, it does flow better and has more power for it. :)
Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.  ~  Ira Gassen

Offline mojojames

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Re: Questions on the Way Over
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2018, 01:12 PM »
Thank you Halo - 'preciate it - RC