Author Topic: body and soul  (Read 7489 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline faithmairee

  • Stray Cat
  • Posts: 1
body and soul
« on: December 19, 2012, 04:54 PM »
the body is
a temporary frame
capable of housing
noble souls
seek safety
in compassion's arms
and shelter
in love's wings

Offline 7

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 998
Re: body and soul
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2013, 11:58 PM »
love's wings sounds forced and, at best, cliche, worst— corny.
but it doesn't seem to matter too much here, you made it work.

I liked it.




Offline Halo

  • Senior Alley Hostess
  • *
  • Posts: 2231
  • who finds a faithful friend finds a treasure
Re: body and soul
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2013, 11:03 AM »
the body is
a temporary frame
capable of housing
noble souls
seek safety
in compassion's arms
and shelter
in love's wings

so true and yet so untrue, because it doesn't happen that way too often. We humans have to be really against the wall to be noble...mostly.

Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.  ~  Ira Gassen

Offline LorriS

  • Alley Cat
  • *
  • Posts: 5
Re: body and soul
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2013, 12:41 PM »
I agree, it does work but I also agree that "noble souls" doesn't ring true.  I stumble over that every time I read it.  Perhaps find another adjective.  Also, have you tried adding punctuation?  I find it also adds impact.

All this aside, I did enjoy it.  Thank you!