Author Topic: Lust  (Read 694 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Goldenpen

  • Top Cat
  • ****
  • Posts: 277
Lust
« on: August 03, 2012, 07:45 AM »
You are the raw ripeness, my sweet juice desires.
Touching, feeling, tasting, the ecstasy of all that is you.
 
K.W

Offline Bill

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1641
Re: Lust
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2012, 08:16 PM »
Goldenpen,

This is not a poem.

It is not well written prose.

Try again.

Bill

Offline cafeRg

  • Smoke & Mirrors
  • Cat in a Hat
  • **
  • Posts: 5467
  • tap this
    • BZoO Radio WorldWide
Re: Lust
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2012, 11:03 PM »


Bill, this is not a workshop..
Disclaimer: cafeRg could be wrong.

Offline Bill

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1641
Re: Lust
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2012, 01:02 AM »
cafeRg,

If it were a workshop, I would have pointed out the specific flaws.

What I offered was a comment.  And the comment stands.

Bill


Offline Goldenpen

  • Top Cat
  • ****
  • Posts: 277
Re: Lust
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2012, 01:56 AM »
Thankyou for the comments... Bill, this is what inspired my writting.
Rumi is one of my favourite poets, some of his works are quite evocative and beautiful.
For lovers, the only teacher is the beauty of the Beloved. ~Rumi
Delight in devotion and become a river of honey. ~Rumi
Oh there will be more erotic poetry coming from me, it is such a joy to write and read :)

Offline Kay

  • Serene
  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 5106
Re: Lust
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2012, 08:56 AM »
Goldenpen,

Rumi is one of my favorite poets as well. I haven't been into this forum for some time.
I have read posts by people where it was not a poem. I don't think that statement is justified in any way with this poem, so that is my comment and are we in a shooting gallery around here now?  :dblu :dblu


Offline Goldenpen

  • Top Cat
  • ****
  • Posts: 277
Re: Lust
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2012, 09:24 AM »
Your kind words are appreciated Kay, thankyou and nice to meet another fan of Rumi :)