Author Topic: Big House  (Read 5948 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline A-FRIEND

  • Education Through History
  • Alley Host
  • *
  • Posts: 2785
    • n/a
Re: Big House
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2013, 04:57 PM »
I think Big House or The Big House is perfect. It represents both the reality of power for some, and the realness of it being the seat of despair for others.

I know it was up for debate to leave the last verse out, but, at least to me, you gave power back to the piece by putting it back in.
Think of it this way. (uh-oh my mind at work again) The Big House has a certain representation. Now go back in time and read your piece with the mindset of the 1700s without the last verse. Doesn't fit the mindset of that era does it? It leaves out a very important reality.
Now reading it with a 21st century mindset, sans the last verse, changes the work to a mindset so far removed from the 1700s it loses that reality, but that lost reality fits our modern day. Which reality were you trying to capture? I love that you put the last verse back in.
Am I making any sense?

I like it the way it is, but you know what our wise Witt always said. Revise, revise, revise.
Stop looking at the light. Instead, look at what is being illuminated by the light.

Offline elise

  • Alley Cat Assistant
  • *
  • Posts: 4223
Re: Big House
« Reply #15 on: July 07, 2013, 06:18 PM »
Thanks so much!  I appreciate Your "take" and help on this!  I think it's done finally!   
 :rose
I felt it shelter to speak to you  ~Emily Dickinson

Offline A-FRIEND

  • Education Through History
  • Alley Host
  • *
  • Posts: 2785
    • n/a
Re: Big House
« Reply #16 on: February 14, 2014, 08:17 AM »
I just read this again, Elise. I still love it. Did you decide to change anything over time?
Stop looking at the light. Instead, look at what is being illuminated by the light.

Offline elise

  • Alley Cat Assistant
  • *
  • Posts: 4223
Re: Big House
« Reply #17 on: February 14, 2014, 01:27 PM »
Thanks Dad!  My muse seems to be on sabbatical... No change since
I took your advice...thanks for reading!
I felt it shelter to speak to you  ~Emily Dickinson

Offline cy street

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1796
  • the sound you hear is life moving through me
    • another dam same river
Re: Big House
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2014, 12:44 AM »
e, i read the poem several times, without reading any of the comments.  so take this dated response (out of context) for what it is worth.  there is so much in these few lines, that it comes across as the cover of a book, not a page within.  each line is more tributary, creek or stream, than river.  my POV is not a critique, more request.  TELL ME MORE...

bish...
now was always better than then