Topic: Palaver And Tulle

[champagne_shoes]

These words you arrange
itch awkward upon fingertips:

your woman's breath is cat.
sardines keep her bloodstream
safe, yet she clings; she stinks.

With a round leather toe,
I prod your chin strap.
Open the steamer trunk,
I implore.

Allow my enjoyment
of cameo ornaments,
dusty pink ribbons
that splash.

I've a salve
for your chronic scratch:
peppermint rose
with a hint of tulle
to cajole inside a fishbone throat.



 

[Mojave]

CS---


a sweet, bittersweet amble through a trunk of aging objects.  a nostalgia hangs over the poem, punctuated with surprising and stark images:


---peppermint rose
with a hint of tulle
to cajole inside a fishbone throat.


---your woman's breath is cat.


---cameo ornaments,
dusty pink ribbons
that splash.

the poem communicates most strongly in the traditional, declarative sentence; less so in the inverted, mannered opening.

---These words you arrange
itch awkward upon fingertips:

 
the intentional blur, mixing of the cat with a female presence serves the poem.

 

---sardines keep her bloodstream
safe, yet she clings; she stinks.

With a round leather toe,
I prod your chin strap.
Open the steamer trunk,
I implore.


a strong, flitting end that opens the poem toward the reader and allows for individual interpretation.

I've a salve
for your chronic scratch:
peppermint rose
with a hint of tulle
to cajole inside a fishbone throat.



very nice job, i enjoyed the imagination and word skill.  the slant rhyme: rose/cajole.


mojave






 

[witt]

I agree with Mojave. Imaginative indeed. Unique.

This also made me smack my lips: I've a salve



Yum.

[Kay]

CS, a striking read. L3 I will not soon forget 

[champagne_shoes]

Thank you, respondents, for the comments.
I wish this board were (more) viable.

[cy street]

sweet shoes, methinks something more than the past lies within the steamer.  i hope i am not projecting, but i imagine the implements, the itch and the scratch in a dim light, red hue.  right or wrong, the longing shown, "i implore you," rings true.  the line between desire/need and fulfillment is rarely blurry and here it is clear as crystal.

smooch,
bish

[7]

cs

I won't pretend I entirely understand, but I'll be as honest as I can be

your words are like a community—

a small town where everybody knows each other really well
and when things are at their absolute worst, the inhabitants
rise up, round the wagons, and are at their absolute best

in a word: harmonic. I enjoyed reading this, over and over


as far as this board being more "viable", why not post some more

[champagne_shoes]

Bish & Seven,

Thank you for the time and attention. We word-addicts are incorrigible recidivists, are we not¿

[WordFaery]

I've been
under wraps
distressed
almighty
unable to crawl
into my skull
to retrieve the ruminations
of waiting

but dig we must.

good to see you.

WF

[champagne_shoes]

even better to see you, whimsical and wry  Word Fairy. Write you will and write you must.

[cafeRg]

I wish this board were (more) viable.

shoesie ..is there something that needs fixin or modified for better pleasure¿