Author Topic: journal entry 7.27.09  (Read 3357 times)

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Offline Soft Words

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journal entry 7.27.09
« on: July 27, 2009, 10:54 PM »
Dear Death,

Apparently my path is juxtaposed with yours, slightly more than everyone else’s. People say they get a perspective on you once they feel your presence a couple of times – but somehow I think you’re deeper than that. I cant believe that you’ve been around since the beginning of time immemorial and all that it takes to understand your layered personality is a couple of meetings not even face to face.

Starting today I will see you more often, perhaps assist someone in preparing to meet you with a smile. Tell them that your arrival is imminent – because I just told someone she has cancer this morning, and there is nothing we can do to deny it or take it away. I don’t know how she may deal with it – but do tell me if there is anything I can do to make your kiss with her more serene and beautiful, make that last meeting one of peace. Maybe you and I could take her to the fields of gold where she made love to her husband, since we know he’ll be right there hanging onto your coattails when you come for her.

I wish not to be your friend until the very end – I wish not to be your agente – I just want to be comfortable around you. I don’t wish to understand you – I like enigmatic men. It would take away from the kiss that you’ve reserved for yourself at the very end.

I’ve been called a daemon child because I have acknowledged you ever since I remember. Always the silent kind, drinking in the spirits of those I saw and those I felt with my eyes. They say I’m possessed of mysterious eyes, but how do I tell them that it is you that made me that way, a little bit like yourself? how do I tell them, the grounded ones, that I walk with one half of me in their world and the other half of me has a firm footing somewhere in yours, blessed to have no fear? What words will tell them that I have gone beyond the obligatory crying at a funeral and smiled at you? That I feel you close by, watching greedily at each orgasm and kiss, right from the very first? That like you, I laugh silently at people who never spread their wings because they fear you?

You showed me where my heart belongs, through all the pain and the mountain trails. Just tell me when I’m going wrong as I pass on your lessons to those whose lives we touch. I hope we can build something more than just a marble tombstone together.

I’ll stay in touch.

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.