Author Topic: Tanka Territory  (Read 28680 times)

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Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #28 on: December 06, 2008, 06:40 PM »
Thank you, Witt...but I can't rightly call myself any more than novice. Perhaps, it's simply beginner's luck? Or maybe my muse is Japanese?


red tiles through grey clouds
reaching toward the divine
ring of golden bell -
contemplative Buddha's sigh
beneath pagoda rooftop


I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #29 on: December 06, 2008, 07:12 PM »
round moon at twilight
painted pink with dying sun
reflections of these
hushed goodbyes and windswept tears
our love's funerary pyre

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Soft Words

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #30 on: December 06, 2008, 08:12 PM »
infidel dusk,
between death of day
and birth of night,
mates with both sun and moon,
sometimes together,
other times in view of the other.


I suck at syllable counting. Fail. *facepalm*
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #31 on: December 07, 2008, 12:20 AM »
Your syllable count is fine, Arti...it just takes a bit of practice is all. Be careful. If you palm yourself too hard, the only thing you'll be counting is stars. G.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #32 on: December 07, 2008, 05:00 AM »
drifting leaves...
high water mark
on Cyprus stumps.
Autumn's pink sun
shimmers on lake's
placid surface -
has it been so long ago,
I kissed your lips?
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #33 on: December 07, 2008, 08:47 AM »
mind, I have a question -
while wrinkles crease
this weathered face,
should you not also wither? 
even young spring leaves,
sprout from ancient oaks.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Halo

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #34 on: December 07, 2008, 09:28 PM »



coal black eyes transfixed
graceful feet, intricate steps
ruffled skirts, bare legs
face contorted; mesmerized
violin strings--allegro



someone, anyone,  please feel to correct my punctuation


Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.  ~  Ira Gassen

Offline Voodoo Child

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #35 on: December 08, 2008, 11:25 PM »
I hope I got this right!


delicate flower
crimson lips and powdered face
she kneels at his feet
embroidered silk kimono
golden dragons on bamboo

Cookie...

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon

Offline Halo

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #36 on: December 09, 2008, 12:03 AM »
 Voodoo Child - delightful!
Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.  ~  Ira Gassen

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #37 on: December 09, 2008, 12:23 AM »
As a rule, Tanka, like Haiku, don't usually have titles...foregoing that, it's a beautiful piece VC.


lone stag
disappearing
into leafless shadows
beyond grey stone wall;
eyes adjust to
frosted clarity,
December dawning.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Voodoo Child

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #38 on: December 09, 2008, 12:34 AM »
Thank you so much for your kind words, Halo and Mystic!

I love creating poetry with a set structure.. love the challenge.
This is a lot of fun.. get to stretch my brain a little.

Peace..Voo
Cookie...

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #39 on: December 11, 2008, 06:27 AM »
I decided, given the subject that it would be appropriate for this Tanka to remain, upside-down.

propagate your own darkness;
ignorance is bliss...
but refuse enlightenment
when  the sun rises -
and all will suffer.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #40 on: December 11, 2008, 07:13 AM »
crossing this bridge
burning in winter sunset -
I recall the acrid scent
of distant smoke;
that once, long ago,
my eyes watered.

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Voodoo Child

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #41 on: December 11, 2008, 03:38 PM »
beautiful plumage
colors of green, gold and blue
exotic peacock
thousand eyes on it's feathers
exquisite Indian Blue


Cookie...

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon