Author Topic: Tanka Territory  (Read 28499 times)

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witt

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Tanka Territory
« on: November 25, 2008, 08:51 AM »
Welcome to Tanka Territory

I just realized that we don't have a thread devoted to tanka. I think that we should because we have such wonderful writers.

Tanka are 31-syllable poems that evoke a moment or mark an occasion. The form of tanka is five syllabic units containing 31 syllables; 5-7-5-7-7.  Let's allow the tanka here to be either way. Five lines, with the whole poem equaling thirty-one syllables or adhere to the form of 5-7-5-7-7. (We will not use this a a tag area.) Either way, I hope to see some beautiful tanka created here. Feel free to attach a symbol such as a beautiful picture to go with it.

I'll give it a shot to get it started.

This is five lines with thirty-one syllables.

fog swirls over the trees
the sun is still asleep
no moon is perceived
lone bird sitting on a bare branch
singing her wake up tune

I showed you mine; let's see yours.

Feel free to reply to this thread and enter your tanka!

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2008, 10:37 AM »
Thanks Witt, I love this idea. Okay, so I've begun with the Traditional line breaks and syllable count...but you know me, I'll have to play with it eventually.  :tongue

stagnant winter wind
unmoved twilight clouds obscure
distant stars' cold spark
single flickering candle
soon fades in pale wisps of smoke








I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

witt

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2008, 11:40 AM »
Great job! Perfect 5-7-5-7-7!

Either way is accepted.

Write On!

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2008, 04:45 PM »
love's promises,
empty as this lone beach,
dashed upon the shores of betrayal.
tear - stained blue eyes
revealed the longing in her heart.


I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

witt

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2008, 05:00 PM »
Super! Ah, you ventured out of your security! Well done!

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2008, 03:46 AM »
still frozen rivers
run beneath their solid ice.
even in winter; 
nature lays bare hidden truth,
rules are meant to be broken.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2008, 12:40 AM »
In keeping with my initial assertion, and the above Tanka; I've broken the rules, as they pertain to Traditional line breaks. But I've restrained myself and kept to conventional onji count (31) and true spirit of Tanka; which is meant to be erotic in nature...

pink moon sets
wet grass, bare toes.
wild strawberries,
chip ice,
turn wooden paddle,
pour sugar...
ice cream drips
on baby - doll pajamas.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

witt

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2008, 05:01 AM »
I can't fault you for that!

I love those summer images.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2008, 11:06 AM »
Actually, this came out of a longer piece I'd written a while back...I put it on a diet so that if would fit into those tight Tanka jeans. That was suprisingly much more difficult than I thought it would be. But obviously all those crunches and leafy greens worked...and in the end, we get to eat ice cream in our pajamas.  ;D  :blusmoke
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #9 on: December 01, 2008, 07:33 PM »
life would be simpler
if only the guide were clear,
A Magi's vision -
Ah, but to follow a star
one must travel in the dark.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Soft Words

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2008, 01:31 AM »
corsets and kisses

play up secret lines
curving shyly before you.
trail champagne ice here
on wet lips and sun-kist skin
writhing in leather and silk.

ummmm. do i pass?
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2008, 01:50 AM »
Absolute pass from me. You know, English is a funny thing. A Kist also means a chest (as in a pirate's kist of gold), or a stone or wooden coffin dating from the Stone Age. Maybe your archeologist could use that?
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.

Offline Soft Words

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2008, 02:10 AM »
hmmmmm. that is interesting. I'll ask him if he knew that.

:) I suck at syllable counting. Always good to pass.
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Offline Mystic1

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Re: Tanka Territory
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2008, 02:17 AM »
Me too...I think that's the most difficult thing about writing syllabically (hmmm, is that even a word? I bet Witt will know.) structured poetry, finding the words that fit and still express the mood you're attempting to convey. It will do one thing for you though, build your vocabulary.  ;D I'm just glad someone joined in, I was getting a lil lonely in here all by myself. G.  :blusmoke
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not for our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.