Author Topic: Nighttime  (Read 10327 times)

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Offline theMerlin

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Nighttime
« on: February 01, 2008, 09:18 PM »
Wake up
I say.
Wake up, as the night grows long.
Sleep?
Sleep and die
while the moon cries.
Dream sweetly
of the past.
The future
brings nightmares.
Nightmares of love.
Scaremares of fear.
Torturemares of desire.
Visit me,
in your sleep.
And I will haunt you forever.
Now sleep…sweetly.

©  tM  2008
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline medusaeyes

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2008, 10:44 PM »
wonderful read  you are so great with your words.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
William Henley

witt

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #2 on: February 02, 2008, 06:50 AM »
This is an interesting piece. I like the antithetical quality that it intones.

Offline Allen

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2008, 11:08 AM »
I am a little confused by this; I will have to revisit it.  My trouble is getting a grip on who the narrator is: He seems to be simultaneously protective, and at the same time, threatening.
Allen

An action promulgated out of desperation will inevitably end in tragedy; for as its anagram so aptly foretells:  A rope ends it. �

Offline Azn1poet

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2008, 11:23 AM »
Merlin,

I enjoyed this one! For I am one of those that still dreams of all these nightmares! Well done!! :dblu

Azn1poet...Steve

Offline theMerlin

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2008, 07:03 PM »

Thank you Steve.

That yours may not be mine.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline Rach

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2008, 09:06 PM »
I like this one too.  I like the words scaremares and torturemares.  So original!

Offline theMerlin

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #7 on: February 05, 2008, 07:53 PM »
So real.

Thank you R.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

tdshiker

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2008, 10:51 AM »
Nightmares of love.
Scaremares of fear.
Torturemares of desire.


I thought that this was a good bit and original- nice. 

T

Offline theMerlin

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2008, 04:47 PM »
Thank you for the comment, Troy.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline annarkee

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2008, 01:16 PM »
Yes the haunt is forever; in dreams we dance on corpses

Offline Burk28

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2008, 10:36 PM »
Hauntingly good piece of writing here, a twist on an otherwise mundane subject, however you have brought great life to it with this piece, bravo :sunny :sunny :sunny
Love is the brilliant trumpet,
shattering the silence in me forever

Offline theMerlin

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2008, 08:36 PM »
My humble thanks, one and all.


May the night never find you without sneakers on to escape it.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline daisyxo

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Re: Nighttime
« Reply #13 on: February 23, 2008, 02:02 AM »
As I sit here unable to sleep tonight ... your poem is perfect for the occassion, Merlin.  The lines: Sleep and die
while the moon cries ... really stand out to me.
~ Marsha ~
 

"Abilities wither under faultfinding, blossom with encouragement." -- Donald A. Laird