Author Topic: Report on Destiny  (Read 6750 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline theMerlin

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1548
  • Shrouded In The Mists
Report on Destiny
« on: December 17, 2007, 08:48 PM »
Fell the warrior
all glory lost
His golden armor
coated in rust
Arrows nocked
adorn his back
Shield cracked
lances a-stack
Castle and manor
in sea of green
Love and honour
his simple dream

(C)  tM  2007
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline WordFaery

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 2308
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2007, 09:09 PM »
Merlin,

It is good to read you.

WordFaery
"Come Fairies, take me out of this dull world for I would ride with you upon the wind and dance upon the mountains like a flame."      W.B. Yeats



Word Faery

Offline Rach

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1274
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #2 on: December 17, 2007, 09:32 PM »
Nice poem.

Offline annarkee

  • Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted (Hassan-i Sabbah)
  • Top Cat
  • ****
  • Posts: 313
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2007, 04:45 PM »
love and honor manifestations of a simple fantasy; i am always floored by your work... thank you

witt

  • Guest
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2007, 05:59 AM »
The diction in this is wonderful. Takes the reader right back to those times. Love it!

Offline Allen

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1707
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2007, 11:11 AM »
I love your work, my lord.
I have always loved your work.

Sometimes, I become disturbed by the messages.
I have a legion of Knights at the ready.
Send me word, and we shall come.
Allen

An action promulgated out of desperation will inevitably end in tragedy; for as its anagram so aptly foretells:  A rope ends it. �

Offline gowerboy

  • Alley Cat
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2007, 04:59 AM »
Nice words.

Just not sure how an arrow
can be nocked and in his back
at the same time.

witt

  • Guest
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #7 on: December 20, 2007, 07:28 AM »
I don't mean to step into Merlin's space, but the word nocked is an old word meaning there's a notch in the arrow made ready for the bowstring.

Offline gowerboy

  • Alley Cat
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2007, 08:17 AM »
You're right. I took it in the other sense of the arrow
being fitted against the bowstring ready to be fired.

Offline theMerlin

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 1548
  • Shrouded In The Mists
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2007, 10:27 AM »
A nocked arrow indicates one ready for use.
'On his back' indicates arrows in a quiver, again, ready for use.
LACK of a bow neuters the value of the arrows, but then, everyone got that pointe, I am sure.

I failed at my intended effort to focus my final writings on clarity of purpose.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline gowerboy

  • Alley Cat
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2007, 01:57 PM »
I took "arrows...adorn his back" as meaning that he'd been
slain from behind in cowardly fashion by a hidden archer.

Offline Burk28

  • Willows
  • *
  • Posts: 453
  • There is truth in the spoken word of poetry
    • Nirvanasgate poetry
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2007, 04:45 PM »
Yes this piece in all its brevity is very fine ideed, well done
Love is the brilliant trumpet,
shattering the silence in me forever

Offline fragments

  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 783
    • poetypoem.com/fragments
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #12 on: December 21, 2007, 04:59 AM »
The arrows nocked thru me
then with the line as they adorn his back
it actually changes the context of the word nocked

1 a notch at either end of the bow for holding the string
2 a notch at the butt end of an arrow for receiving the string
3 to set an arrow on a string

arrows nocked by itself gives us #3--
but with the added" adorn his back"
we now get #2

I admire the piece for its brevity and it choice of language
it fits together very nicely
The clouds told him their names, in the quiet of the summer afternoon
Charles Simic from "The World Doesn't End"

Offline Voodoo Child

  • Temple Dancer
  • Paragon
  • *
  • Posts: 2143
Re: Report on Destiny
« Reply #13 on: December 27, 2007, 09:42 PM »
Ciamar a tha sibh, Merlin?

I liked this very much. But, then, I like all of your poems!

Peace...V.Child
Cookie...

"A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." John Lennon