Author Topic: The Last Demon  (Read 3266 times)

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Offline theMerlin

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The Last Demon
« on: November 01, 2007, 11:37 PM »
pale but delightful approaches my last love
she curls cold tendrils about my warm heart
and loves me deeper than all other demons
filled with an appetite that is never fulfilled
finds me the anti entrée to savor like butter
I embrace my last demon with the passion
exuded by any lover for a final rendezvous
my last breath belongs to this, my Ariadne
the last demon to confront my olde bones
is the one to win the greatest battle known
and I will watch this loss in helplessness
not knowing if history will remember me
simple wizard and olde fool were all I was
 
©  tM  2007
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

Offline Moses

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Re: The Last Demon
« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2007, 02:42 AM »
Liked this one alot. I always thought my own demons came in pairs of 2 or greater.
'Often I have dreamt of angels though I sleep with demons'

witt

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Re: The Last Demon
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2007, 10:15 AM »
I  like this, but the word it bothers me on the second line. Am I being picky? It's not under the AX, so I'd better behave here!

Offline theMerlin

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Re: The Last Demon
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2007, 11:00 AM »
Thank thee, Moses, Bowing Respectfully.

And Mdme. Director knows her commentary is always sought, and always wise.  My thanks.  Tapadh leibh, a muirnan.
The change is done.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.

witt

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Re: The Last Demon
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2007, 11:08 AM »
Thank YOU, my dear olde one [curtsy]. That's exactly what I thought that it should be.

Offline theMerlin

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Re: The Last Demon
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2007, 11:40 AM »
My initial inclination was to neuter the bloody thing.
Giving 'it' a femme persona so much more personalizes the value of the pain.

But I do see how it reads more eloquently, and not so coldly.

Although cold is good at this juncture.
Chomh sean leis an cheo agus níos sine faoi dhó.